Tuesday, 12 March 2013

What Is Love?

I just finished reading I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris, and I will begin by saying that this book has been my favourite out of all the books offered in this class (minus the Bible, obviously!).

Not only does the author bring forward strong points and thoughts to grow on, but he also does it in a way that doesn't make you feel talked down to or that his views on dating are the only ways to date. I had made early judgments on this book, assuming that the author would be dictating how dating HAS to work, and that I probably wouldn't agree with many of his points. But now I find myself eating my own words! I agreed with every point he had. From his views on modesty and a girl's responsibility, all the way to his thoughts on how to be friends with the other sex, without tempting each other. 

I want to just touch on the friendship section of the book. He talks about how it is difficult to keep good relationships with the opposite sex without developing intimate feelings for them. He states friendship is based on a common goal or interest, but when the focus is turned away from the goal and instead on the relationship, it is no longer just a friendship. This really impacted me because I was struggling with understanding why my friendships with boys would stray away from friendship. (Either he or I would develop some sort of a crush)
I feel like this new information is already shifting some relationships in my life, and I really believe it's for the better.

On page 166, Joshua stats a very sad truth. He talks about women and how their focus when the word 'marriage' is mentioned, turns straight to the wedding. To that he wrote:

"Marriage is more than a wedding ceremony. A wedding is an event, but a marriage is a state of being. It's not a one time act; it's a lifelong commitment to be developed and maintained."

I loved this statement. I find women (myself included) focus too much on the wedding, and not what it represents. A wedding is like the words on the back of the book labeled Marriage! It gives you a little peak into what lies inside, but that little glance doesn't compare in importance to the actual book. You can't (or shouldn't) have a wedding if there’s no real commitment towards your future as one.

Ephesians 5:22-23: "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour."

Lastly, my favourite part in the book was the poem on page 172. The poem is by Lena Lathrop and it's called "A Women's Question", and it asks men if they are deserving to ask for a women's heart. One of my favourite stanzas from this poem was:

I am fair and young, but the rose may fade
From this soft young check one day;
Will you love me then 'mid the falling leaves,
As you did 'mong the blossoms of May?

I like this part because of the rhyming pattern and the connection between spring and fall. I enjoyed the whole poem mainly since it supported women to wait for Mr. Right, and not settle for anything less. 

This book has truly impacted me and my views on love and dating. I will be buying my own copy so that I can read it again. Thank you!


1 comment:

  1. I'm glad you enjoyed reading this book and that you've found it helpful. I admire how you're able to recognize and share your eating-your-own-words moment.

    You show understanding of some of the content and include several helpful quotes and references. Your Bible reference hangs out by itself without being smoothly integrated into the flow your writing; you don't set it up or elaborate on it.

    Your use of the term "Mr. Right" has me wondering what you mean. The term can mean different things to different people, so your meaning isn't clear. That little term can include big ideas such as the qualities of a suitable man or even the concept that there is or isn't only one man on the planet for you. The term needs clarification if it is to be used at all.

    Thank you for thoughtfully engaging this book, Melina.